Freedom vs Family vs Work
Time To Win A Loosing Battle
Sword fighting with yourself
15 Minutes to Add Freedom to Your Life
If you are a working mother with a family, you probably find yourself torn between work and family and your own personal freedom. You’ve probably been raised in a family that had a working Mom. You’ve probably seen the strain in your Mom’s eyes and now you know what was causing it. Times have changed and the cosmos has opened up and given you the sense of freedom. Maybe you remember it from the time before you added children into your life’s equation. You’ve probably always worked at something whether it be studies in school or a job while in school or after you graduated. Somehow finding freedom when the only challenge to it was work was much easier than finding freedom with the added challenge of family. It reminds me of watching my grandson trying to sword fight with himself.
Let’s take a look at the things getting in your way to finding freedom in this challenging triad.
- The need to be viewed by yourself or others as doing a perfect job of being parent, excelling at work and having freedom can be an oppressive need to fulfill. What is ‘perfect’ in your mind? Of course, it may be quite different in another person’s mind. Take a few moments to list what perfect looks like to you in each category.
- Are you able to see a way to make all of this perfection happen at once? If you can’t then it’s time to let go of perfection as you see it. Also let go of perfection as you believe others see it too.
- How responsible do you feel to make sure that you don’t let your boss or any of your co-workers down? That you get the job done right?
- How responsible do you feel to spend quality time with your children? To make sure they are happy and problem free? To attend to their health? And then of course there is your partner and his or her needs.
- There is the innate responsibility for your health, energy, happiness, peace and success.
- Take a few moments to list your major responsibilities regarding work, family and freedom.
- What happens when you fall prey to your partner or children’s will? How does it affect you?
- Is your major role at work to second guess other’s needs? Are you subject to a steady stream of criticism? What do you do when this happens?
- Do you find yourself believing what you think others are saying about you? Do you ask for constructive criticism? Are you beginning to feel like a doormat at work or home or to your own critical self?
- When you look at what’s on your agenda for the day and realize there isn’t any time allotted to do something fun and then realize you don’t even know what’s fun, how does that feel?
- When the work day is over and you’re on the way home do you hear your head chatter? Are you complaining about what happened at work today? Are you complaining about a co-worker or perhaps a customer? Are you complaining about something that happened with the boss?
- When you pick the children up from school or daycare is there crying or fighting in the car? Do you hear yourself complaining about someone’s attitude? Do you wish a magic fairy could just take you away? Maybe your partner isn’t listening to a word you say. What do you complain to yourself about most?
- There are 168 hours in a week, right? You know you work 40-50 hours, hopefully you sleep 56 hours (probably too high) and you spend 65 hours with the family (probably too low). That’s a whooping 7 hours left for you. Do you find yourself complaining that an hour a day just isn’t enough to feel freedom?
List what freedom looks like to you. Describe how it feels, that is if you can remember.
THE BALANCE SHEET
You have the power to change things. The power to balance your life. The power to bring your freedom into alignment with work and family. Of course, you’re asking how to do I accomplish that? I’m going to point you in the direction that worked for me and that my Guides showed me.
Set the Intention to bring your life into balance. Keep in mind balance for you is unique and may not look like you and your ego think it should. Write this intention on a piece of paper. Keep this piece of paper and title it BALANCE SHEET. Fold the BALANCE SHEET in half. One side title Credit and the other side title Debit.
Let’s get started
Answers each of these questions
- Family; What does perfect family day look like to you and what do you need to do every day to maintain your expectation of perfect FAMILY LIFE?
- Work: What does perfect work day look like to you and what do you need to do every day to maintain your expectation of perfect WORK LIFE?
- Freedom: What does perfect day of freedom look like to you and what do you need to do every day to maintain your expectation of perfect FREEDOM in your life?
Now take the first answer you wrote in each category and completely let go of this expectation by saying the expectation is NOT FOR ME.
Write your NOT FOR ME on your BALANCE SHEET on the Credit side.
- What is your greatest responsibility at work or in your business?
- What is your greatest responsibility to your family?
- What is your greatest responsibility to finding freedom in your life?
Now please reverse these statements. Here’s an example of how to do this.
My greatest responsibility at work or in my business is to make money.
Reversed: How does money make me behave?
My greatest responsibility to my family is to care for them on daily basis.
Reversed: How does my family life care for me on a daily basis?
Add the reversed sentence to your BALANCE SHEET on the Debit side
What happens to you when you fall prey to your partner’s or children’s will?
Finish this sentence, “When I fall prey to my partner’s or children’s mandates it means I’m ________________________________________________________________________.
I’m always trying to second guess other’s needs at work, this means I’m _________________________________________________________________________.
When I look at my agenda for the day and there isn’t one fun thing on it, this means I’m ________________________________________________________________________.
Add these words to your BALANCE SHEET on the Debit side
What is your most frequent complaint about work?
What do you complain the most about your family life?
What is your biggest complaint about not having freedom in your life?
How does each of these answers give away your power to live a balanced life. Write the answers down on your BALANCE SHEET. Keep in mind that complaints are negative affirmations. When you say the same negative things over and over you are focusing on the negative in your life. Time to create a positive affirmation from each complaint you listed.
Example: Work is so stressful that I take the stress home with me.
Affirmation: I now find the peace in work and go home calm and happy.
Add these affirmations to your BALANCE SHEET on the Credit side.