Let’s take a look at hacking judgmental impulses about another person. As an example, if you have the impulse to judge another person as controlling or perhaps rude or anything negative, stop as soon as you recognize this criticism. Ask what will I lose if this criticism is true? Stop obsessing and ask what did I lose here? If you judged the other person to be controlling then you believe that you lost control of the exchange with the other person. Ask yourself did I really lose control of the exchange? Is that true? Is it absolutely true? If I stopped believing that I lost control would my life improve?
You can try this with judging someone to be rude. As soon as you hear the word rude in your head, stop obsessing about the thought of rudeness and ask, what did I think I lost here? I lost sense of appreciation and respect. Did having one judgment of rudeness cause me to lose respect for myself? Is that true. Is that absolutely true? What would my life be like without that thought?